Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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