matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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