East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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