sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
