Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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