i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
