i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
