Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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