Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
