Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
