Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize