Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
