she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
