Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
