I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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