People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
