I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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