Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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