I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
