Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
