We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
