i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
