I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
