His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
