what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
