you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
