The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
