He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
