Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think a kid would responsible me up
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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