She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My bed smells like the plague
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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