What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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