Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
