Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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