PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
