Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just invented taco cereal.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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