So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
