but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
