just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
