I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
