What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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