but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
