Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
