I don't usually arrange sex via text message
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
