Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
