Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Houston, we have a blender
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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