Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
