she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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