your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
cat food counts as protein by the way
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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