9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
