sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
