I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
